About a year ago, I had the priviledge of attending Alan Weiss’ Million Dollar Consulting College. In addition to learning a great deal about the business development side of consulting, I had the priviledge of meeting several people who I would consider my sojourners and masterminders. One of my favorite colleagues that I met at this experience was Dan Weedin, who is an exceptional consultant and also one of Alan Weiss’ master mentors. He offerred some great perspective in his newsletter this morning on Labor Day that I will pass on to you all. He said:

This weekend, Barb and I watched Avatar. We enjoyed the movie – it was somewhat predictable, but it served its purpose in entertaining us and driving Captain Jack nuts with the special effects and fight scenes.

One of the episodes that caught my attention was when the protagonist of the story, Jake (who is a disabled Marine) finds himself in his avatar body for the first time. The unbridled sense of elation and exuberance when he realizes he has legs again is palpable. Jake shuns all efforts to hold him back as he scampers around outside in a body that no longer holds him back, but is free and like he once was.

If you’re like me, it’s easy to take things for granted. When we get something back that we once treasured, we have the same unbridled elation and exuberance as Jake did in his new body. Maybe we should make a greater effort in enjoying what we have (health, family, career, home, etc.) while we have it because we never know when it might be gone or taken away from us.

This Labor Day, let’s be thankful for the opportunity to work. Labor is actually our “legs” and the vehicle that allows us discretionary time and enjoyment of life with those we choose to share it with. Happy Labor Day.

Today is not just a day to rest from our work but to be grateful for our work. Our work is so much more than what we do to get a paycheck. It is our means of creative expression and service to the world. So, today…rest, play and celebrate!

Thanks for the reminder, Dan!

Happy Labor Day!

(I would encourage you to learn more about Dan. He truly is remarkable. You can find him on his website at www.danweedin.com.)

I'm all the way on the left, Dan is all the way on the right. Alan,of course, is in the middle!

© Betsy Jordyn 2010. All rights reserved.

A cynic commented to me that my quest for the Land of Happy, Healthy and Free was “elusive.”  The following day I had lunch with Anne and proved this guy wrong.  Not only do I dwell in this land right now, but I also am gaining insight in what are the elements of this land for other people.

Lunch with Anne was quite the adventure! She has a deep understanding of the Middle Eastern culture and to celebrate her recent trip overseas, we decided to eat at Bosoporous, a wonderful Turkish restaurant in Winter Park. I was introduced to more than just interesting food. As our drinks were served, out came the Hookah – which I have never seen before.

The Hookah is a sort of pipe that you smoke (without the harmful stuff I understand). For a cigar aficianado like me, this was great. Smoking Hookah with a good friend. Perfect lunch…Perfect day. When I was Disney we called these “magical moments.”  When I am on the deck of a cruise ship, listening to the steel band music, I always say, “this is the life.”  Smoking Hookah with Anne…it just doesn’t get much better than that!

I told my friend Mark about my experience with Anne how I think smoking hookah provides middle eastern people a wonderful ritual that we do often avail ourselves of in the States. How often do we slow down and truly focus on relationship…really dwell with each other?  Mark ageed and added his own thoughts about it from his Christian worldview.  He posed that isn’t this what communion is supposed to be like – sitting at table with people, truly fellowshipping?

So, the lesson for today, stop working and pass the Hookah!

I spent all day waiting for the amazing thing that was going to happen to me that would further me on my journey towards the full and meaningful life. When I had breakfast with my best friend Debbie, I was looking the cool thing to befall me. Did the same during my coffee with Lee and as I went about my usual business of making/returning phone calls, sending/answering emails, setting up client meetings, spending time with the kids, and participating with my online community of consultants, etc. etc. But nothing major happened. No Ed McMahan at my door with a great big check. No invitations to appear on Oprah.

But then I realized something major did happen. Everyone, and I mean everyone, that I interacted with yesterday is on a journey to a full life. What that full life looks differs for each of the people I spent time with but all of them are alive and on their way. I didn’t have a single interaction with a poser (which is someone I would say talks the talk of a full life but walks a life that is distinctly different) or energy sucker (someone whose very presence sucks the living daylights out of you).

Sadly, I know posers. I know this one trainer who when speaking consistently asks his audience, “who’s responsible?” in an effort to help them take ownership of their roles, mistakes, etc.. What is ironic about him is that in his personal life, he never takes responsibility and blames others for his bad choices. A leader that I once consulted to had asked for me to help identify what he could do to improve his leadership. However, when he received his report from me, he tried to edit out the negative comments before he would share this report with his team. I once had a mentee who wanted to grow his business. He spent a great deal of money on the mentorship and going to workshops and seminars to learn how. But in the end, he was looking for the quick fix, the silver bullet and wasn’t willing to do the hard work required to build that business.

Sadly, I also know energy suckers. I know this one guy who talks and talks and never listens to anyone else’s opinions but his own. I have a former best friend who is very selfish. Our relationship ended because she took and never gave except criticism and complaints about what was given to her. It was almost like when others give to her, it opens up an insatiable appetitite in her that makes her want even more and feel entited to take more. She is so selfish that even after the relationship has ended, she still has the need to keep asking me for help. A while ago I was catching up with an old friend and told him that I was thinking about writing a book. His response, “Who’s going to write it?”

But if stop and take a look at how I am designing my life – who is in my life and who is not – I realize that I am surrounding myself with people who want to love and embrace life. I am rich with people who are authentic, genuine, and who have the ability to give as well as receive. (I am suspecting that learning how to be a gracious receiver is another marker on this journey, but I will save that one for another day)

So the major learning for today – Stay Away from Energy Takers!

© Betsy Jordyn 2010. All rights reserved.

Yesterday’s planned low-cost solution to transforming my life was spending uninterrupted quality time with each of my daughters. It was a hit. They both have bunk beds in their own rooms and both sleep on the top. They loved having me join them in their beds to talk to me about their day and to snuggle with me alone. As much as I enjoyed my time with them, it wasn’t at near the level of importance for me as it was for them. So, I will keep this routine because I want to help my girls have the life they desire and part of the life they long for is individualized attention from their mom. (I know this sounds easy but it can a challenge when you are the only parent in the house and the kids outnumber you!)

That said, I did have two experiences yesterday that combined gives me insight into this journey to the abundant life. In the morning, I responded to a post on Alan Weiss’ forum. A dear man was struggling with the suicide of a friend and posted a response that was straight from my heart. A woman, who is also in Alan’s community, read what I wrote and took the time to call me. She left me a message of such graciousness and kindness that I had to call her back. I spent the next hour getting to know one of the most amazing women I have ever encountered. She has the wisdom of age and life experience combined with a zest and humor that is rare. I hung up feeling so blessed by the encounter which I never would have experienced if I a) didn’t respond to that initial post with my own genuine self and b) call her back.

I had an experience in the afternoon that was similar. I received a facebook message from an old friend that I haven’t seen since junior high. We had recently become facebook friends, although he had been on mutual friends list for a while. A conversation with my kids reminded me of iceskating, Journey and him so I decided to reach out. I am so glad I did. He shared with me about his life and his various passions and he encouraged me in mine. He gave me a link to his website and I am blown away by this man who has used his personal challenges to help others. I was again blessed by the exchange which I never would have experienced if I a) didn’t reach out to “friend” him and b) didn’t respond to his initial message asking me about my life etc.

So, combined I would say taking risks to be who you are and reaching out to others out of that place is my first milestone on the way to the journey of the abundant life. The life you want isn’t a life of posing. It is about one authentic life connecting with another authentic life. There is no place for masks, posturing and making yourself look good.

My second milestone on this journey is that I am not so sure this life is found by me setting goals for myself on “this is what I will do today to embrace my life.” I loved the time I spent with my kids and I will do that going forward. But that isn’t what happened to me yesterday that is what I would say is bringing me to a new place of understanding life to its fullest. I starting to think that if I have a posture of looking for and receiving the transformed life, I will discover vs. create the “low cost solutions?”

© Betsy Jordyn 2010. All rights reserved.

I read an article yesterday about a woman named Marisa Lynch. Here’s an except:

Marisa Lynch set herself a challenge: Transform 365 unattractive frocks in 365 days, for $365. Just before her 30th birthday, she got laid off. To some, losing a job means hitting the streets with a resume or wallowing in grief. But for Marisa, it meant getting the sewing machine out and upcycling thrifted fashions. Every day.

“I was just in this not-feeling-good, crummy kind of mood, and I didn’t know how to kick it,” says Marisa. That’s when Marisa saw the movie, Julie & Julia. “[Julie] was finding something to do every day that made her feel great. I was jealous. I thought, I want to find that.”

Thus, New Dress A Day entered the blogosphere. The task: To make a new fashion piece a day — on a budget of a dollar a day — for an entire year.

(For rest of the article and pictures of Marisa’s transformations go to: http://green.yahoo.com/blog/guest_bloggers/60/turn-ugly-dresses-into-nice-ones-for-1.html)

This article made me think of a conversation I had earlier in the day with my good friend Cathy, a woman’s ministry pastor. We were talking about what motivated her to do what she does. She talked about oppression – people living lives based on lies that they have embraced about who they are, complacency, and literal and figurative bondage. The Scripture that best summarizes her passion is John 10:10, “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I [Jesus] have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.”

This conversation combined with the article about Marisa got me thinking. If Marisa can find a way to dedicate her year to transforming ugly dresses into decent ones for $1, I wonder what it would look like for me to dedicate a year to practically walk out some of the concepts that Cathy shared with me from John 10:10. I know the first part of this Scripture all too well as I have wasted spent too much precious time this past year dealing with a thief who literally wants to steal, kill and destroy me. But I don’t know or live out the second part of this Scripture well enough.

So, starting today I begin a quest of my own in a similar vein of Marisa and Julie/Julia. What can I do today to more fully embrace my life that doesn’t cost me a lot of money? What can I do today to plant a stake in the ground against the thief’s strategies to steal, kill and destroy? What are low-cost solutions to transforming my life?

My plan for today: Give both my daughters 15 minutes of uninterrupted and focused time alone with me. I’ll let you know tomorrow how it goes.

© Betsy Jordyn 2010. All rights reserved.